Sarcasm Bites

The news headline practically jumps off the screen. I must be reading that wrong, I tell myself, figuring the early morning hour is decaying my brain.

Caffeine. All I need is caffeine.

I shuffle to the kitchen, pour myself a hot cup of coffee, and dive, lips first, into my mug. Pure bliss.

Anticipating my [...]

As the self-proclaimed anti-Christ of morning people everywhere, it’s no surprise that 7:03am finds my lips vacuum-sealed to a vat-sized coffee mug, and me grunting only when spoken to, avoiding all but the most mandatory of human interaction.
Peering above the rim of my upturned mug, I sit down at my desk, open email, and anticipate [...]